The #1 Mistake Parents Make in the Recruiting Process...And why it could be costing your child a scholarship.

We get it, if you're a parent, you're used to being in the driver’s seat. You’re the one researching schools, comparing academics, visiting campuses, and asking questions. That’s normal… if your child is applying as a regular student.

But college soccer recruiting? That’s a whole different game.

The Mistake: Treating College Soccer Like a School Application

Too many families approach soccer recruiting as if it's just another version of UCAS or Common Application; find the school you like, apply, get in, and figure the rest out. Unfortunately, this mindset leads to wasted time, energy, and sometimes thousands of dollars down the drain.

Here’s the truth: college soccer recruiting is not school-led, it’s coach-led.

Coaches don’t care which schools are on your dream list. They care about building the strongest team they can within their budget, system, and timeline. You don’t apply to play for them, they choose who they want based on your ability, fit, attitude, and how well you show up in the recruiting process.

The Traditional Way Families Pick Schools (And Why It Doesn’t Work for Soccer)

Here’s what we see over and over again:

• A family builds a list of dream schools

• They research majors, facilities, and locations

• They visit campuses, attend open days, and maybe even join a few ID camps at those schools

• They hope something clicks and a coach shows interest

That’s a solid strategy, if your child isn’t planning to play college soccer.

But if they are?

That process could actually guarantee they won’t play.

Because here’s the hard truth: recruiting doesn’t work like the regular process as a non athlete. It’s not about picking the school you want and then trying to join the team. It’s about letting the right schools find your player, and choosing from the real opportunities that come in.

How This Mistake Shows Up

• “We’ve shortlisted these five schools.”That’s a great plan for a normal application — but what if none of those schools are interested in your player? You might be waiting forever for a call that’s never coming.

• “We just want to go X School.”Understandable, but unrealistic for most players. X school might have the fewest roster spots for that season, and those that are... snapped up by top domestic talent and internationals. There’s incredible football at all different types of schools and even within Canada or the UK, but families miss these because they’re fixated on the wrong target.

• “We’re just emailing our favourite schools.”This is one of the most common pitfalls, most generic emails never even get read.

  What You Should Do Instead

  At Primus, we flip the script.

  We don’t start with where you want to go. We start with who wants you.

  That means:

  • Getting your player seen by the right coaches

  • Standing out in the inbox and on video

  • Building a smart, interest-driven target list

  • Letting offers come in and then deciding what’s best for your child academically, financially, and personally.

  You don’t choose your school and then try to play there. You build interest, generate options, and choose from real offers.
  

  Let Go of the 1,000-School Fantasy

  We say this with full respect: if you’re reading this, your son or daughter wants to play college soccer. That means it’s time to stop thinking like a regular applicant.

  There are 1,000+ schools in the U.S. and Canada. Trying to narrow them down based on facilities, cities, rankings, or mascots is like choosing a partner from Instagram. It might look great on the surface, but there’s no real connection until the interest is mutual.

  What matters is: Who’s recruiting your player? What are they offering, in terms of playing opportunity, scholarship, development, and experience?

  That’s the list to choose from, not the one you found on Google.
  

  One Final Thought for Parents

  This is especially important for UK families: you don’t pick your school like you do with UCAS. The recruiting process works in reverse, the schools that show interest in your child are what define your actual options.
  

  Your role is vital: support, structure, encouragement, and keeping the process grounded. But the smartest move you can make is to stop picking schools and start focusing on generating real interest.
  

  Trust the process, let the coaches lead, and help your athlete make the best decision based on real opportunity, not just logos, locations, or hype.
  

  Ready to build real options? If you're serious about your athlete playing in college, we can help you do it the right way — with no wasted time or money. Reach out to us now!